So. I really didn’t mean to decapitate this fly. He was on the window blind next to me in the kitchen last night, and I swung my small but thick French dictionary at him and neatly severed his head. His body shot onto the bench next to me.
At first, I didn’t notice or realize what I had done. I was grading student papers.
Normally, I don’t really bother with insects, but this Midwestern heatwave has seen unprecedented wave after wave of insect species in my apartment. Ants, centipedes, flies, and box elder beetles. I was even stung by a bee sitting in my kitchen last week.
A few minutes after bashing the fly with the French language, I noticed an unusual speck of dust next to my computer. Bending over this vaguely reddish piece of whatever, I realized that I was looking at the segmented eyes of the fly’s head. I had perfectly decapitated it, with the French dictionary as a guillotine, and sent the headless body to an ignominious grave on the bench (and then the trash).
For some reason, I feel like I should put this on my resume.